It's funny how you can go months without thinking about someone. Then you find something they gave you and it hits you again that their gone.
When I was in college I was fairly briefly involved with a guy. Despite that it was pretty intense, Dave is the only guy I've been with who was as into BDSM as I am. One of the first times we met it was because there were plans for a play party around halloween. Not going to go into detail about the party or our relationship, those are memories I'm not ready to share and definitely not on a blog anyone can read. It was complicated in many ways and didn't last very long. We did remain friends afterwards though there were some uncomfortable moments.
Skip ahead a year and a half later, I had left college and drifted apart from my friends there a bit. Then I get an email saying he'd died. I'd never lost a friend before, never anyone my own age to have it be someone I had feelings for made it really hard. It's been 6 years but the pain can still feel fresh.
I came across the collar he gave me, just a play collar it was never meant to be significant, but it's the only thing I have that he gave me. It just brought it all back. Time doesn't heal everything, it makes the memories retreat back in your mind so they don't come out as often but when they do nothing has changed.
No comments:
Post a Comment